Away
by writingmom
Summary: Set immediately after Lifeline. What if in getting away they both found what they were missing? Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Mac's POV

I can't believe that it's over. Just like that. The life that I was about to choose for myself has disappeared like a cloud of smoke, and I couldn't be happier. I shouldn't be, I suppose. I should be crying, or upset, or have loads of guilt to sort out in my mind, but I don't.

That kiss…it was more than I bargained for. It wasn't just goodbye. It was filled with so much…love. Love that I realized I don't have for Mic. Standing next to Harm in that room, our hands barely touching; it was suffocating. I knew in that moment that I couldn't go through with it. I feel bad about hurting Mic, but I know that I made the right decision. Funny, I think he knows it, too, although he would never admit it. And now? I'm leaving. I don't want to be reminded of the honeymoon that I'm supposed to be packing for. I don't want to see Harm with Renee and I don't want to _think _about anything. I just want to _be_.

Harm's POV

She's going to kill me. When she finds out that I've left town and won't be at the wedding, it will break her heart. But I can't help it. After that kiss…there's no way that I could stand in good conscience and watch her pledge her love to another man. It might break her heart, but mine would be shattered.

Thankfully we didn't see each other much at work. I was on assignment and she was in court most of the week, so our contact was minimal and professional and it killed me. I wanted to knock on her door, tell her that I broke up with Renee and that I was here—_really _here—if she wanted me. She probably wouldn't want to know that, though. The kiss was probably just goodbye from one friend to another and I have no right upsetting her with petty news of my own; news that she might misconstrued as bad timing or a desperate attempt to win her over only because it was the midnight hour. "You only want me when you know you can't have me." I can hear her saying it now.

No, I won't do that to her. And my absence at the wedding, well, that will have to be explained later. I know that it's selfish, but right now I don't care. I don't care about anything except getting out of town; far, far away from the reminders of her life with _him_.


	2. Chapter 2

"What'll it be, sir?" The bartender placed a napkin in front of Harm.

"Whatever's cold and on tap." He tried to smile, but he wasn't in the mood.

The bartender nodded and placed the cold mug in front of him. "You from around these parts?" He asked. The bar was relatively empty and it was obvious that he wanted to talk.

"Nah, I'm an out-of-towner." Harm was in no mood to give details.

"Well you look like you lost your best friend." He rubbed his white beard and studied Harm more closely. "Woman troubles?"

Harm swallowed long and hard and closed his eyes, hoping that the man would be gone when he opened them. Instead, he saw him leaning against the counter as if he had all the time in the world.

Harm smiled politely and played with the corner of the damp napkin. "Something like that."

"What, the part about the best friend or the woman?" The bartender was clearly very lonely.

"Both, I guess you could say." Harm looked up at the TV in the corner, hoping to give him the hint that he wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

"Must be in the air. Lady was in here just before you came in. Gorgeous woman. Turns out she's supposed to be getting married this weekend, but couldn't go through with it." He shook his head. "Broke up with the guy less than a week before the wedding. Seems her heart belongs to someone else."

Harm nodded, completely uninterested in the story. In fact, at the mention of a wedding, he cringed. It was probably about time for the rehearsal dinner. Mac would likely be calling, but he purposefully turned his cell phone off. No one knew where he was, and that's the way that he wanted to keep it.

The bartender, who had now introduced himself as Ed, continued. "You married?" he asked.

"Nope."

"Well, that's a shame. Me and my Linda been together twenty-eight years."

Harm nodded again.

"It aint always easy, I can tell ya' that. But we stuck it out. No other woman in the world for me, I know that. Took us awhile to figure it out, though." He laughed. "Boy, I tell you, in the beginning we wasted a lot of time."

He picked up a wet rag and began wiping down the bar. "But, I finally quit running and she was still there, thank my lucky stars." He assumed that Harm was interested. "Looks like you're ready for another."

Harm would have loved another cold beer, but the company was crowding him. Even with no one to his right or to his left, he didn't feel like being Ed's one man audience.

He stood to reach for his wallet and threw down the money for the beer.

"You staying here?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, yeah I am."

"It's a nice place, this ol' hotel. Can't beat the view of the ocean and Mary in the kitchen's got the best clam chowder a man ever tasted." He smacked his lips at the thought.

Harm smiled and began to turn. "Thanks for the beer."

"No problem. I'm here til' midnight if you need to come back and drown your sorrows."

"Thanks." Harm said over his shoulder. He headed into the lobby and up the stairs. He slid the key into the door of room 221 and allowed it to close hard behind him. He couldn't get the wedding out of his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about how Mac would look in her gown, how Brumby would be smiling. It was about to make him sick.

He collapsed onto the bed and closed his eyes. It was going to be a very long night.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Mac was awake early after a fitful night of sleep. She decided that an early morning run would clear her head. She closed the door of her hotel room quietly and made her way down the stairs.

"Um excuse me, could you tell me what the best route would be for a jog, say about five miles?" She asked the lady behind the desk.

The young woman smiled. "Well if you don't want to run along the ocean, there's always the in-town route. It's probably not five miles, but there are sidewalks and streetlights. It is still kind of early." She seemed genuine in her concern for Mac's safety.

"I know. I didn't sleep well last night and I thought a good run might wear me down." She smiled in return. "Thanks, I think I'll take your advice and stay in town." She pulled the hooded sweatshirt over her head and made her way to the door.

"The bakery should be open in half an hour. Got the best coffee cake in three states. You'll see it. It's on the corner, called Bessy's."

"Thanks." Mac smiled in return.

The morning air felt good in her lungs. It was cold and the sun was just beginning to appear. She could hear the waves lapping against the shore in the distance. She looked forward to spending some time here in this quaint little town. She'd heard the Admiral mention it a time or two, and decided to go where no one would know her name.

As she quickened her pace, her thoughts went back to Harm. Once he figured out that she was out of town, he'd probably try to call her, but she turned off her phone. She didn't want his sympathy and she didn't want him to try to be the noble best friend. Her emotions were too raw after the kiss, and she didn't trust herself to be comforted by him when he belonged to another woman.

Mac tried not to read too much into the kiss, although it was proving difficult. "You have someone who will always love you." He had said. She could have sworn that he was referring to himself, and the emotion behind that kiss couldn't have been completely one-sided.

She shook her head as she ran, trying to stop thinking and re-thinking the night on the Admiral's porch. She had a week to gain composure; to accept her place in Harm's life, his relationship with another woman and to face her co-workers and friends with a renewed outlook on life.

Same time

"Good morning, sir." The young woman called to Harm as he made his way down the steps.

"That remains to be seen." He smiled. His hair was sticking up and his eyes felt as though they were half shut, but he couldn't stay in his room a minute longer.

"Is there anything that I can help you with?" The woman asked cheerfully.

"No, thank you. I'm just going out for a jog." He bent down to lace his shoes.

"Ah, well, you're the second one this morning. I recommend either the scenic route by the ocean or in town. Both are quite nice, it just depends if you like pavement or not." She was trying to be helpful, but again, Harm was in no mood for small talk.

"Thanks." He finished lacing his shoes and stood to leave. "I'm kind of partial to the water. I think I'll pass on the pavement for now."

She smiled again. "Enjoy your run, sir. The continental breakfast will be ready when you return."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the short length. It seems best to split the scenes up this way, at least for now.


	4. Chapter 4

"Soda with a twist, right?" Ed reached for a small glass and began filling it before she could answer.

"You remembered." Mac smiled.

"I always remember faces like yours."

"You must see a lot of faces in your line of work." Mac enjoyed talking to Ed. He was kind and clearly someone who wanted to talk—and listen.

"I do, but it's the stories behind the faces that I remember most. Some people…they come in here and they don't want to talk. I try to get 'em to open up a little so they don't drink their troubles away. There's some that will, some that won't." He shrugged his shoulders and began slicing a lime. "Some people just keep it all inside, won't tell you what they really feel."

"I hear you there." Mac raised her glass before taking a drink.

"Oh? Your man is a quiet one, is he?"

"I have no man, remember? But yeah, my _friend_…"

"You mean that one that kissed you and made you realize you didn't want to marry someone else?" He was proud of himself for remembering, for being a part of the story.

"Yesss…" Mac was slightly taken aback that someone knew such an intimate detail of her life, but it was a bartender in a town three hours away. Who could he possibly tell? She shook her head playfully before continuing. "Let's just say that I agree. Some people prefer to guard their emotions more than others."

"Life's too short, if you ask me. I played that game for awhile with my Linda. Got her so mad she almost ran the other direction."

"So what changed?"

"Me. I realized I didn't want to lose her."

"But how did you know, I mean really know?"

"You just do, darlin'. When you know, you know." He winked at her and turned to take the order of the couple that had just sat down.

Mac thought to herself that it would be nice if Harm shared the same sentiment, but he didn't. Maybe he never would. It was difficult for him to open up, to let go after losing his father and she understood that. But her life hadn't exactly been a cakewalk, and she was willing to take the risk.

She thought back to his words on the porch. "You make complicated things too simple." Maybe she did. Maybe this was too messy and he was right. Maybe whatever feelings they had for each other were better left alone.

She hated it that she couldn't let it drop. Her mind was reeling because of that kiss. A week later, and it was still fresh in her mind. When she kissed Mic it never felt like that. That's when she knew. That's when she decided that regardless of what happened with Harm, she couldn't marry Mic. She couldn't stand to be with someone for the rest of her life when kissing him felt like kissing a friend.

She'd been foolish to jump into a relationship with him. She should have figured it out sooner, but Mic was a good salesman. He promised her family, stability, and love. He adored her. It had been too easy to fall for the idea of what life with him would have been like. After all of her mistakes with men in the past, she should have known better. She inwardly scolded herself for making such an immature decision at this point in her life.

"Looks like you need another one." Ed was back and offering a refill. His eyes lit up when he spoke. Not just to her, but to anyone that sat down. He really was a kind man that knew more than one would assume about life, love, and the human condition.

Mac held her hand up to indicate that she was through. "Thanks, Ed, but I think I'm just going to head back to my room and read a good book."

"You sure 'bout that? You stay away from people too long and you'll start to doubt yourself."

Mac gave him a look of question.

"Trust me, you did the right thing. Just don't start to second guess yourself by spending too much time alone with your own thoughts." He took her glass and emptied it into the sink.

Mac contemplated his advice and instead of heading back to her room, decided to walk along the ocean. It was late afternoon, the time that she should have been getting ready to walk down the aisle. Ed was right, what good would it do to sit in her hotel room making herself miserable?

Same time

Harm had walked the perimeter of the town three times that day and had walked up and down the ocean twice. It had been a long time since he had this much free time on his hands. Normally he would go fly Sarah, or work on his car or play basketball. He was beginning to wonder if maybe time alone wasn't such a good idea.

He knew that the wedding would be beginning within hours. He looked at his watch and saw that if he wanted to make it back, he had enough time. He hated the thought of not being a good friend to Mac on her big day, but he knew that he couldn't do it. He only hoped that she would understand one day.

He made his way back to the hotel and into the bar. He hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch, so having a drink was probably a bad idea, but at the time, the only thing that sounded good to him was a beer and some pretzels.

"You're back." Ed greeted him and placed a napkin in front of him. "What'll it be today? Another draft?"

Harm nodded. "Thanks."

"Enjoying your stay?" Ed asked, placing the beer in front of him.

Harm shrugged his shoulders. "S'okay I guess."

"I understand. Can't find much happiness when you're always running away." Ed was bold in his statement and he knew it, but didn't care. He knew what Harm was about just by looking at him. He didn't have to open up to admit that he was miserable and that it was probably his own fault.

Harm was indignant, but before he could snap back, Ed had turned to speak with the couple at the end of the bar. Harm caught a glance of himself in the mirror on the opposite wall. He looked pathetic. Ed was right. He wasn't happy, but why wouldn't he be? The woman that he loved was about to marry another man. Ed might have a different opinion of him if he knew _that._

He took a drink of his beer and sat the mug back down. Funny, not only had his taste in women changed, but so had his taste in drinks, apparently. The beer tasted flat, stale, even. Harm pressed his thumbs to his forehead as he battled with his thoughts yet again.

Was he ever going to find happiness? Was he doomed to life as a miserable old man who had only a bartender and flat beer to keep him company? What fulfillment would he have in life besides his career? The questions came flooding to mind.

He thought that going away was the right thing to do. He thought that he would at least find peace of mind by leaving. But the more he thought about it, he would never be at peace. Not at home and not away. Not without Sarah.

He left his money under the still full mug of beer and turned to leave. This was ridiculous. The solitude was driving him crazy. He headed back to his room and collapsed onto the bed. Maybe if he could sleep, he would at least escape the mess of real life in his dreams.

Mac didn't get far before realizing that she needed a sweater. The sun was shining, but the air was still cool by the ocean. She decided to go back to her room and change into more comfortable walking clothes. Maybe after a long walk and some hot clam chowder, she would feel better.

She made her way through the lobby and up the stairs as had become routine. Fumbling in her pocket for the room key, she paid little attention to the room numbers on the doors. She slid the key into the slot and saw the annoying red light indicate that it hadn't worked.

She tried again and again in frustration. When she heard someone on the other side of the door fumble with the lock, she froze. Suddenly she saw the number 221 and not 223. Unable to run or hide like she would have liked to, she stood there, waiting to apologize for the misunderstanding.

The door opened, and her room key fell immediately to the floor.

"Harm—"

"Mac?"

* * *

TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you—"

"How did you—"

They spoke at the same time. Thoroughly disgusted that she had probably interrupted a romantic rendezvous between Harm and Renee, Mac immediately began to ramble. "Oh, Harm. I'm so sorry. I'll uh, I didn't know that you were…that you would be…I had no idea. Look, I'll just pack my things and go. This really, this is really just a bad… mistake, right? I'm sorry. I'll…I'll be going now." She walked to the door right beside his, leaving him with a look that went beyond confusion.

He stepped out into the hall. "Mac, what are you talking about? What are you doing here?" For an instant it registered that maybe the wedding was already over, that maybe he'd been wrong on the time and that she was here for her honeymoon. "No. If anyone should leave it should be me. I don't want you to have to spend your—" he couldn't say it. The words refused to form in his mouth. "I'll go."

Mac stopped with her door open. She was confused as well. "Harm, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Well, what are you talking about?" He was so glad to see her. If he could get the image of her and Brumby out of his head, it would have been exhilarating.

She took a deep breath. "Look, after…everything…" she smoothed right over the details, assuming that he had found out by then. "I just…I needed to get away, to clear my head. So, I packed up and came here. But I didn't know that you would be—you have to believe me. I had no idea that you and Renee would be—"

The wheels began turning in Harm's head, especially when he heard her say "I" instead of "we" or "us". A glimmer of hope began to form in his eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mac. Back up. First of all, I'm not here with Renee. I broke up with her this week."

Mac felt as though her heart literally fluttered. The gasp of relief was more audible than it should have been, but she was in shock; completely shocked and confused.

"Renee…she's not…" she looked directly at his door.

"No, Mac. I'm here alone. And you? I mean, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be, you know…"

The sadness in his eyes was evident to Mac. He didn't know. She figured that Harriet had blabbed the news to everyone by now, telling them that the wedding was cancelled and that their presence wasn't necessary. But judging by the look on his face, he really didn't know. She didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

"Harm, I called it off. There isn't going to be a wedding today. At least, not one involving yours truly." She didn't know how he would react to the news. But suddenly her knees felt weak and she had to sit down.

"Do you…can we go somewhere to talk about this? I think I need to sit down."

Harm instinctively grabbed her hand and let her down the back staircase and out onto the lawn. There was a small patio area that he'd discovered on his walk and thankfully, it was unoccupied. He pulled a lawn chair away from the table and offered her a seat. She fell into it, thankful for the support of her body.

"Mac, you're shaking."

"I am?" She looked down at her hands. "I guess I am. I'm sorry I just—this is all too bizarre."

He smiled a reassuring smile. "Tell me about it. How long have you been here?"

"Since Friday night."

He was stunned. "Mac, that's when I got here. I can't believe we didn't bump into each other. How did you hear about his place, anyway?"

"I remembered the Admiral mentioning it once awhile back. I thought it sounded nice and private." She paused for a moment. "What about you?"

"Same." He shook his head and smiled. "We have some sense of timing, don't we Mackenzie?" He tried to lighten the mood, but her mind was still in overdrive. For the past day and a half she had been thinking about his man, his feelings, his actions, his choices, his words; how she was going to maintain a friendship with him. She wasn't done thinking, and now he sat right in front of her, looking too good for her to possibly maintain any reasonable level of concentration.

She tried to laugh. "Well, I don't know about yours, but mine certainly sucks." It came out a little more harsh than she'd intended.

Thankfully, he wasn't wounded by the comment. He leaned forward in his chair. She could smell his cologne when he moved closer and she found it difficult to control her breathing. His eyes were filled with concern.

"Mac, why don't you tell me what happened?" There was silence. "Why didn't you go through with the wedding?"

She didn't trust her judgment. And besides, she was tired of being the subject of their latest conversations. She avoided the question and put it back on him.

"You first. Why did you break up with Renee?" She looked at him, signaling the beginning of a long conversation with a steadfast marine. "And why," she continued thinking out loud, "are you _here_ if you didn't know that the wedding was cancelled? Weren't you planning on going?"

Her feelings shouldn't have been hurt. There was no wedding, so she had no right to be offended that he, along with the rest of the guests, weren't in attendance. For a reason that she couldn't explain, however, it bothered her. He was supposed to be her best friend and he wasn't going to be at her wedding?

He knew where she was headed. It was either going to be pieced together somehow in her own mind or he was going to have to explain it to her. He would have preferred that she summarize on her own, with him nodding his head in agreement. He'd spent the last several hours thinking about this woman and what he should and shouldn't have said to her; what he would say to her when he saw her next, how he would explain his breakup. He had never taken into account the fact that she wouldn't be married when that time arrived.

She was looking at him, waiting, with the same longing look in her big brown eyes as she'd had on the ferry. It was about to cause his undoing. She was beautiful. He wanted to take her in his arms and to kiss her senseless, just like on the Admiral's porch, only this time letting it continue for as long as they wanted it to.

She raised her eyebrow unknowingly, as if to say, "Well?"

He let out a nervous laugh, then rubbed his hands up and down the lengths of his thighs. His palms felt sweaty, like he was seventeen again and asking someone to prom. He had to stand. He couldn't face her, not like this, if he was going to say what he needed to say.

"Renee and me, well, it's really no surprise. She and I weren't good for each other."

If he was going to attempt to sweep it all under the rug, she was going to get angry. Surely, after everything they'd gone through in past years of miscommunication, he would try to get it right this time.

"I see." She tried to conceal the displeasure in her voice.

His shoulders tensed. He didn't want to argue and he knew that he was probably leading her down the wrong path because of his poor choice of wording.

It was a long time before either of them spoke again.

"And the wedding, Harm? Why did you plan to skip my wedding?"

It was the million dollar question, the one that he couldn't avoid.

Just then, a couple with their small dog walked through the patio and contemplated sitting down. Harm and Mac both avoided eye contact and small talk with them, hoping they would get the hint. The gentleman did not, but thankfully his wife picked up on the tension in the air.

"Charles, I think we should sit by the porch." She winked at Mac and then led her husband away.

Mac was not about to give in. Maybe it was selfish, but she didn't want Harm to talk in code anymore. She needed to know where she stood in his life so that she could move on, one way or the other. She waited patiently, his back still turned.

When several minutes passed, he finally continued. "I left town because I'm selfish, Mac. I didn't _want _to be there." He turned reluctantly to face her. "And I'm not sorry."

* * *

TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

Mac didn't know what to say. Just like on the Admiral's porch, she could see the sincerity in his eyes. She knew that he had to have had a good reason to get away. She just wanted to hear it; wanted him to express to her what he couldn't in Sydney or at her engagement party.

It was difficult for him to maintain eye contact with her. He turned again, as if second-guessing himself. "You know I'm not very good at this, Mac." She almost didn't hear him.

Slowly she stood from her chair. She took one step and then another, until she was a few feet behind him. He closed his eyes, unbeknownst to her. Her nearing presence was making it difficult to remain a gentleman. He had never wanted anything or anyone so badly in his entire life. It was numbing, yet at the same time, awakening sensations in his nerves that he never knew to exist.

She took a final step in his direction. She could have placed her hand on his back if she had just reached out.

"Harm—" her voice was quiet yet reassuring. "It's okay. Tell me. Tell me why you didn't want to be there." She knew it was asking a lot from him, with little of herself offered in return. There were no guarantees on the table, so a direct answer could have seemed too large a risk for him to take.

She held her breath as she waited for his response.

"Because—" she saw him inhale deeply and then exhale. "Because I couldn't stand to see you marry another man." He hoped that it would end there.

She needed to say something, needed to reassure him that she was someone who could be trusted; that opening up to her wouldn't prove futile. She took yet another step closer, so that she was within inches of his large frame. The chemistry between them had been years in the making. The subtle flirtations and off-the-cuff comments had been a comfort zone for so long, slowly laying the groundwork for the moment when it was no longer a game. One touch would be all that it took and they both knew it.

She refrained from placing her hands on him, even though it was consuming every ounce of willpower within.

"Do you want to know why—" she swallowed hard, even though her mouth was dry. "do you want to know why I couldn't marry him?" She felt tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't stand another moment like Sydney. If he blew her off or rejected her, she didn't think that she could take it.

She saw him nod his head. "I couldn't marry Mic, because after our kiss, I realized that it would be wrong. I knew that it wouldn't be fair…to any of us."

Harm turned sharply to face her. His face was etched with seriousness and his eyes were dark. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was angry. Was he going to berate her for wasting so much time, for running to Mic so quickly?

"Why, Mac. Why wouldn't it have been fair?" It was almost a whisper.

He wanted to hear it too; needed to know that she was still available.

She closed her eyes, willing the words to come. "Because he's not the man I want."

She wanted to add, "There, I said it. Are you happy?" But she didn't. She simply stood in front of him, eyes still closed, afraid of his response, afraid of the spell that she was under.

Harm lifted his hand slowly to her face, causing her to close her eyes even tighter. The question had not been answered, not yet, not to his liking. It felt like sky-diving without a parachute. He had to be sure.

He cupped her face with one hand and leaned in ever so slowly, deliberately, to whisper the question into her ear, his hot breath causing her to shiver. "Who, Mac. Who do you want?"

Regaining control, she leaned up and pulled him down to her, whispering in the same seductive manner that he had just done. "I want a man who's afraid to let go. I want the man in front of me…to want me." The last words were whispered with such intensity that he couldn't stand it.

The touch of her hand on his skin sent shockwaves through his body. He grabbed her hand forcefully and pinned it to his chest. He stared down at her, searching her face for doubt. When he didn't see it, he finally bridged the gap. "I'm yours, Mac. God help me, I've always been yours."

His mouth came crashing down onto hers, eliciting a soft moan from her throat. His hands cupped her face possessively before sliding slowly down to her neck and shoulders, squeezing and stroking as if to make sure she were real. He pulled her closer to him, flush with his body as he held tightly to her back, allowing his fingers to pulsate through her skin, snaking up occasionally to roam freely through her hair.

Mac pressed her own hands deep into his chest, and then his arms, seeking the support that she needed just to remain upright. Her legs felt like Jello, her heart was racing and her mouth was meeting his at an equally fierce pace. The kiss was long. Neither dared to break it for what seemed like an hour.

They absorbed the moment, to freely explore and to hold on to the person whose touch had been elusive for too long. Finally, when both were in need of air, they drew back slightly, both with labored breathing. Mac smiled, and reached up to wipe the moisture from the corner of Harm's mouth. He welcomed the gesture, grabbing her hand and drawing it to his mouth, placed a long, gentle kiss on her palm.

"So, Mackenzie, still think your timing sucks?" He smiled, resting his forehead against hers.

She let out a small laugh, shaking her head. "I guess it all depends on the surroundings."

He leaned down for another kiss, this one slow and soft. "I'm sorry, Mac. I'm sorry we wasted so much time."

She reached up to place a finger on his lips. "Harm, for whatever reason, it was supposed to be like this. You, me, here together…that's nothing to be sorry about."

After another kiss that rivaled the first, he took her in his arms for a long, affirming hug.

"Mac?" the smile was evident in his voice.

"Mmm?" her voice was muffled against his shirt.

"What do you say we see if we can get that room key of yours to work?"

She swatted him on the arm, and then slid her hand into his as he led her back into the hotel, smiling all the way.


	7. Chapter 7

One month later 

"Hey." He called from the kitchen.

"Hey yourself." She dropped her briefcase by the door and removed her cover. "Something smells good. What is it?" She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Shrimp linguini." He turned to greet her with a kiss. Their affectionate greetings had not gotten old, and judging by the way he felt when she walked into a room, it never could.

She removed the uniform jacket as well as the pins from her hair, allowing it to fall in a messy heap at her shoulders. He watched her as he often did, admiring the fact that he was now privy to such ordinary gestures in her life. She walked into the bedroom, and emerged a few minutes later wearing gray sweatpants that hugged her body perfectly as well as a matching gray Navy T-shirt, which also accentuated her firm physique.

"What can I do?" She sat at the bar and propped her elbows onto the counter, looking relaxed and at home.

"Nothing. It's almost ready."

"You spoil me, Sailor."

"I try." He smiled, delivering two plates to the table.

They made small talk, but Mac could tell that something was off. Harm was pushing the noodles around on his plate with the fork, barely eating a bite.

"So…" she began. "When are you going to tell me whatever it is you think I don't want to hear?"

Harm looked up, surprised. He couldn't try to deny it. He pushed his plate aside and looked to see that she had done the same. He smiled at her. She looked beautiful and natural and he loved the sight of her, comfortable at the table. She reached across the table and took his hand in hers, and then stood, leading him over to the couch.

She sat down on the end, and then patted the cushion beside her. "So, do I need to ask again?"

He tried to smile. "How do you always know what I'm thinking?"

"Guess I'm making up for lost time." She smirked. "Now really, what is it?"

He looked away. This was going to be difficult. She waited patiently.

"I don't know how else to say this, so I guess I'll just spit it out. It's time for me to do my quals. I leave in the morning."

He looked at her nervously, awaiting her response. She raised an eyebrow, but didn't scream or yell as he'd expected. "I see." She looked down at her hands.

"I need to know how you feel about this."

"Do you?" She didn't want to fight, but it was a little late to be asking for advice.

"Mac—"

"It sounds like it's a done deal."

"And if it weren't?"

She took a deep breath. "I'd wish you good luck and tell you to be safe."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Mac, do you understand why I need to do this?"

"I'm not going to lie, Harm. The thought of you flying out there—it scares me."

"But—"

"But I know that it's important that you maintain your flight status, so far be it for me to stand in your way."

"That's not what you'd be doing."

"Oh really? So, if I threw a fit and told you that you absolutely shouldn't go, how would you respond to that? And what kind of person would that make me?"

He knew she was right. He hated the fact that she would worry, but he was inwardly thankful for the support, no matter how forced.

He scooted closer to her end of the couch and took both of her hands in his. "How did you get to be so smart?" His voice was quiet and low.

She knew that he was trying to charm her out of any lingering ill-will, and unfortunately it was working. She smiled. "I'm a marine, or have you already forgotten?"

"Oh yeah, well that's not what it says on the shirt." He let go of her hands so that he could place his on her waist. He leaned in and began planting small kisses on her neck and earlobe.

She tried not to smile while leaning into his touch. "What, this old thing?" She laughed. "Was the only thing clean. Besides, I have a possessive husband."

* * *

TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

He smiled at her playfulness, snaking his hands up under the shirt to make contact with her warm skin. He continued planting kisses on all of her sensitive spots.

She grabbed his arms in an effort to slow the seduction, which didn't work. "So…how long before you leave me, Sailor?"

He stopped what he was doing. Something about the way she said it gave him an uneasy feeling. He pulled back to look at her, suddenly feeling very serious.

"Mac, I won't leave you. You know that, don't you? I promised."

She was taken aback by his sudden change in mood. "Harm, I was just asking when—"

His lips descended onto hers and she was unable to complete her sentence. She didn't question him. She simply allowed herself to be lifted into his arms and carried to the bedroom.

Two days later

Mac hadn't slept well at all in Harm's absence. She wanted him to get home. They still had the enormous matter about their marital status to discuss, not to mention the fact that it had been a stressful day and she just needed him.

When the Admiral knocked on her door, she suddenly had a sinking feeling in her stomach. "Colonel, may I see you in my office?"

She nodded and followed him into the large room. "Close the hatch." He bellowed.

She stood at attention, waiting for him to assign her a case or to yell at her for late paperwork. Either of those would have been welcome scenarios. This was about Harm, she could feel it.

"At ease, Colonel. Have a seat." He motioned for her to sit as he leaned against the front of his desk. "There's no easy way to say this, so let me just tell you. Seems Commander Rabb was doing his night traps and encountered some bad weather just off the Patrick Henry." He gave her no time to respond. "Captain Engels has informed me that the Viking is out looking for him now, but visibility is low and swells are up to twelve feet. Seems his Rio, a Lieutenant Hawkes has been located and is being treated in sickbay."

Mac did little to hide the fear that gripped her entire body. Tears welled up in her eyes. "Sir, how long?"

He didn't want to answer this question. "It's been six hours. The wind gusts have slowed the search and recovery efforts, but they're not giving up." He looked at her sternly. "Neither should you."

He clearly knew something about their relationship, although he wasn't indicating it at the time. "When I hear any news, I'll let you know. In the mean time, why don't you secure for the day."

She shook her head. "I can't, sir. I can't go home and just do nothing. I want to be here—if there's any news."

"Fine. I'll let you know the minute I hear anything. Dismissed." He had never been warm and fuzzy, and wasn't about to start now, although he felt a great amount of anxiety himself.

Mac hurried back to Harm's office and closed the door. She needed to gather her thoughts and she wanted to be as close to him as possible, among his things. She closed her eyes and allowed the tears to fall furiously down her face. Lightning clapped in the distance, reminding her what treacherous conditions he was in. She hurriedly grabbed his trash can and vomited.

She ignored the knock on the door as Harriet made her way in, taking Mac in her arms and allowing her to shake with sobs. Harriet soothed Mac's hair and knelt before her. "Ma'am, we have to have hope."

Mac closed her eyes, unwilling to watch the reaction of her fellow officers in the bullpen. Bud had turned on the Navy news and a small crowd had gathered to watch. The tears continued falling faster than she could wipe them away. Harriet just sat with her, stroking her arm and squeezing her hand.

Mac shook her head for a moment, as if something had come to mind, although she refused to open her eyes. Harriet noticed the change in facial expression. "Ma'am, what is it? Are you okay?"

Mac's head shook slightly again as if she were in a trance, and then just as suddenly, she opened her eyes. Wiping the tears from her face, she stood and made her way unannounced into the Admiral's office.

Admiral Chegwidden was just picking up the phone when Mac placed her hand on the oceanic map beside his desk. "Tell them to look here."

"Excuse me for a moment Captain Engels, it seems Colonel Mackenzie may have some information to offer."

The Admiral gave her a look that said, "I hope you know what you're talking about."

She returned his look with a fierce reassurance that she was not playing games.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before placing Captain Engels on speaker phone. "Captain, this is going to sound rather strange to you and I understand that, but the Colonel has had success locating people in the past, so we would like for you to try looking 35 degrees, 15 minutes north latitude and 73 degrees, 28 minutes west longitude."

There was no response.

The Admiral barked into the phone, "Unless you have found success on your _own_…"

"Aye, aye sir."

Mac listened intently to the radio contact for the next several minutes, praying that she was right. She couldn't shake the vision of Harm lost in the cold waters. She clenched her jaw tightly as she willed herself to hope.

"We've located a raft, sir." The voice announced over the radio. "But it's empt—wait, what's that, to the left?" The crewman was speaking away from the radio, making it difficult to hear what was going on.

It felt like an entire hour had passed when they heard it. "We've got him, Captian. We're bringing him to sickbay."

Mac leaned forward to support herself on the Admiral's desk, allowing tears of relief to escape. He had to be okay. He just had to be.

"Nice work, Colonel." The Admiral hid his own sense of relief well as usual. "I assume that he'll be arriving at Bethesda later in the day."

It was all Mac could do to nod her head.

"I'll expect you to keep me posted." She regained composure and stood at attention.

"Aye, aye, sir." She pursed her lips in an effort to stop crying.

"And Colonel, when we find out that he's okay…and he _will _be…the three of us have some things to discuss."

Mac looked at him, confused.

"Maybe we can talk about it over drinks with my friend, Ed the bartender."

Mac's eyes widened in response, but before she could speak, the Admiral barked, "Dismissed!"

* * *

TBC 


	9. Chapter 9

Mac walked quietly into the room, making sure that she didn't disturb his restful state. He was pale and bruised. The sight of him made her gasp. He looked so weak, so unlike his normal self.

She couldn't stop from tearing up. She moved to the side of his bed and lightly placed her hands on his arm, unable to keep from touching him. When he didn't respond, she drew his hand to her mouth and held it against her lips. She was overwhelmed with gratefulness and relief as she watched his chest slowly rise and fall. Reaching down, she lightly traced his eyebrows with her finger, memorizing every new line, crease and bruise.

She kissed his hand again, and held it to her as she rested her head on the side of his bed. The doctor informed her that he would be okay, that the worst part of the hypothermia was over, and that now all he needed was quiet and rest. 

It was after midnight when she felt him stir. She sat up quickly and watched as his eyes fluttered open and then closed again, before finally remaining open. She didn't want him to be scared or confused.

"Harm—" she spoke quietly. "It's me, Mac. I'm here." 

He drew back to get a better look at her, to allow his eyes to focus. She stroked his hair in reassurance while he took in the surroundings. 

He tried to sit up, but was too weak. "Mac?" his mouth was dry.

"I'm here, Harm. Take it easy. You're at Bethesda." 

The look of realization spread across his face. "My plane—"

"Shhh, Harm. Don't think about that now. You're going to be okay. It's all right."

"Sorry." He mumbled before his eyes fell closed once again.

She smiled down at him before kissing him lightly on the forehead. He was going to be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

"You're not a very good patient, you know." Mac tried not to smile as she carried the tray into the bedroom.

"Maybe not, but you make a _very _good nurse." He teased.

"You're bad." She set the tray down in front of him and opened the bottle of medication. "Open up. Time for your meds." She handed him a glass of water and a tiny white pill.

"Maaac," he whined, "I just took one of these, like—"

"Six hours ago." She cut him off. "Come on, down the hatch."

He rolled his eyes and obliged.

"Now I think you should try to eat. You need to get your strength up."

"Oh yeah?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Yes, Sailor." She decided to play along. She leaned in closely to whisper. "The sooner you get back to normal…the sooner…" She nipped at his bottom lip, causing his eyes to close shut, "…the Admiral can kick our _asses _for getting married!" She pulled back and stood to gather the pile of laundry that had accumulated in the hamper.

He opened his eyes to reveal his intense disappointment. "Maaaccc---"

She stepped out of the room with an armful of laundry. "Quit whining, Flyboy. I'll be back and then, we're going to talk about this."

When she returned, she found him lying in bed with a pillow over his head. She smiled at the sight. His recovery had offered a new glimpse of her Flyboy. He was horribly impatient when he didn't get his way, and not being able to move around made him grouchy, but not unbearable. There was a boy-like quality that emerged that Mac found rather endearing, although she dared not admit it.

"Harm?" she kicked off her shoes and lifted the blanket beside him to crawl in.

"_What_." His voice was muffled under the pillow.

"I think it's time that we talked about this."

"I'm tired of talking. How 'bout we do something else instead?" He emerged from under the pillow with a smile on his face.

"Harm, I'm serious. The Admiral is going to want to see us soon. We need to figure out how to explain to him that we decided to break regs in the heat of passion and get _married_ without telling him." Mac rubbed her hand against her forehead. None of this had worked out the way that they'd planned. Verbalizing it only made the realization worse.

"You're sure he knows?"

"Yes, he knows. _Believe_ me."

Harm could see the stress that she had been under. Dealing with his accident had been bad enough, but now the threat of their careers being lampooned was an added source of tension.

"Mac, I know you're worried, but it will work out somehow. He can't can us both."

"Oh really, and why not?"

"Because he needs us. Well, at least one of us. My guess is that after my little mishap, he'll be all too eager to transfer me."

She was surprised at the admission. "Harm the accident was not your fault. You know that, we all know that."

"Still, it's another reminder of the liability that I seem to be."

Mac shook her head. "I _hate_ this!" Her frustration was growing. She couldn't sit down any longer. She stood from the bed and began pacing. "I mean, what the hell were we thinking, anyway? We weren't! Two grown adults, in the military, throwing it all out the window because—because of—"

"Because of love, Mac." He said it so quietly, she almost didn't hear.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Harm, this is the real world! We can't _live_ on _love_. This isn't some bad Sonny and Cher song, this is our _lives_!" She walked over to the window and stood.

"How long have you felt this way?"

"Since the accident." She blurted.

"So, if I hadn't of crashed, we'd still be married, but sticking with our plan to keep it to ourselves until another billet opened up that one of us could take without arousing suspicion."

"Some plan that turned out to be." She was angry, not at him, but at the situation. It was completely out of character for her to have such blatant disregard for military rules and regulations. They had been her life for so long. "Besides, the Admiral mentioned Ed from the hotel being a friend. He probably already knew, he just didn't let me know until…" she let out a long sigh.

"Do you regret it?" Harm sat straight up in bed and drew his knees up to his chest, hugging them loosely with his arms.

She folded her arms and leaned her head against the window. "I could never regret marrying you. I only regret that we've handled it so poorly."

Harm was only slightly relieved. "Mac, I spent seven hours being thrown around in the waters of the Atlantic, not knowing if I would ever see you again." His voice was quiet once again.

"The one thing that kept me hanging on was _you_. Not my naval career and not my future at JAG."

Mac began to cry. "But that's just it, Harm. What if we survived _that_, but we don't survive _this_?"

"What do you mean?"

She wiped the tears away and cleared her throat. "What if you and I are being—"

"What, Mac, punished? You think that God is up there re-writing our futures because we broke a rule for the first time in ten years?" He was losing his patience.

"Not _we,_ Harm, _me._ I broke a rule!"

"So what, Mac?" He was almost yelling.

"So that's not what I do! It's not who I am! I swore after Farrow that I would never put my career in jeopardy again, and what do I do? The first gorgeous man that asks me to marry him? Boom! There I am." She wasn't making sense and she knew it, but her fear was making her crazy.

Harm was silent. This was their first heated discussion as a couple, and he didn't like it. His greatest fear since opening up to her was that she would regret it one day and run.

"So that's how you see this? Just some heated, stupid mistake?" His voice was quiet again.

Mac saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately admonished herself for being so selfish. She made her way over to the bed and sat down in front of him.

"Of course not, Harm. Nothing about you and me is a mistake. It's just—you know it's not like me to be so reckless with my decisions. All I'm saying is that we probably should have waited, or handled it differently. I don't know, something."

"If you'll remember, Marine, we didn't _want _to wait. We were damn _giddy_ with excitement, and we didn't _want_ to waste another minute playing games. I'm sorry, but I don't regret it. Maybe you do, but I don't. And if the Admiral doesn't see it that way? Then fine. So be it. Life is _too_ damn short to be worried about codes and regulations all the time."

A slow smile crept across her face. She reached out and took his hand in hers.

"What?"

"I love you." She rubbed her thumb gently over the back of his hand.

"I love you too, Mac, but if this is going to cause you to be so upset, and if you're just going to regret this, then you need to tell me now. I don't want to live my life with you resenting me."

"I don't resent you, Harm. You're right. We both wanted this, and I'm a grown woman. You didn't drag me into that courthouse." She smiled again and then got quiet. "I know I said it's because I broke the rules, but really, I think I'm just scared." She paused. "I don't know what I would do if I didn't get to see you in the office every day."

He straightened his legs and pulled her to him. "Mac, I think we need to wait and see what the Admiral says before we go crossing bridges. And besides, we're together now. Even if we have to split up, we'll still have each other to come home to. I'd rather have you in my bed than in my office." He nudged her, trying to lighten the mood, which seemed to have worked.

"It always comes back to that, doesn't it?" She turned to face him, smiling.

"With you, yes. It does. I am not ashamed."

She leaned forward to meet him for a slow and sensual kiss. He cupped her face and delicately ran his fingers behind her neck and into her hair. "I love you Sarah."

"Not half as much as I love you." She breathed between kisses.

* * *

A/N: It's probalby not finished at this point, but I'm not sure how to continue from here. The fluff is the fun part. When I have to pretend like I know military code of conduct, I suddenly lose interest. We shall see! Thanks for reviewing and for tolerating the suddenly inserted wedding. I'm a traditionalist. 


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

"Well?" Harm could barely wait for Mac to emerge from the Admiral's office. It seemed like an hour since she had gone in.

Mac's face held no expression. Instead of stopping immediately to speak to Harm, she headed straight to her office with him following close behind.

"Mac, how did it go? What did he say?" He didn't care who was listening. Something was wrong. He just knew it.

Mac fell into her chair and sat motionless.

"Mac!" The desperation in his voice was growing.

She tried to avoid eye contact, but it was no longer possible. Trying to compose her thoughts, she took a deep breath and began.

"Harm, I know you're not going to like this, but I can't—we can't talk about this here." She silently pleaded with him to understand.

"What do you mean? Was it bad? I mean, doesn't he want to see me? How come he didn't ask to see me? Mac, what did he say?" His desperation was slowly replaced with anger.

She closed her eyes in an effort to maintain the level of sanity that would be necessary to finish the conversation. "Harm," she said, slowly opening her eyes, "I need you…" she took another deep breath, "to trust me. We cannot talk about this here. Do you trust me?"

She was being cryptic and he hated it. She hated it too, but knew that if she dared to recall the conversation with the Admiral, it would end up even worse. He'd never seen her like this before. Was she hurt? Scared? Too mad for words? Whatever it was, he knew that he had no choice but to trust her. As much as he hated it, as much as his instinct was telling him to storm into the Admiral's office, he didn't. Instead, he looked hard into her eyes in one last attempt for clarification.

"Okay." He relented, slowly backing up toward the door. "Okay, but I don't like it."

"Thank you." She silently mouthed the words, because at the moment, she had no voice. She had lost it, just like her pride.

* * *

A/N: Okay, this story has been haunting me, not becuase I'm attached to it, but because I can't stand unfinished work! As usual, I have no idea where it's going. Hopefully toward an ending. 


	12. Chapter 12

Time had never passed so slowly. They only had an hour left until work was over, but it felt like an entire day before they could get home. Mac was able to slip away to the library with no one noticing. She had to take some time to reflect, to digest what had just happened to her.

Her life had changed, that's what had happened. As if her broken engagement, subsequent wedding to Harm and his accident weren't enough—now this. If it weren't her very own life, she might have found it funny.

She walked slowly among the tall rows of books, gently touching the binders as if they were old friends. She looked all around, taking in the familiar smell of must and leather in the room. She was stalling, and she knew it. After walking the entire length of the room, she took a deep breath and opened the door. It was time. Time to face Harm, and time for them to discuss their future.

When she pulled into the parking lot, it was already dark. The autumn air was crisp and unforgiving. Ironic, she thought to herself as she made the mental comparison. Harm's car was parked haphazardly in its usual spot, three cars down. He always saved the end for her. She smiled to herself at the thought.

As she made her way to the front step, she could feel his stare. He was outside, waiting. She tried to look happy; tried to give an air of reassurance.

"Hey, you didn't have to wait out here for me." She faked a smile.

"Mac, where were you? I've been home for twenty minutes." His voice was laced with frustration.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just—I needed a few minutes alone." She walked up to the step and stood right beside him.

"Mac, you're scaring the hell out of me. Tell me. Now. What did the Admiral say?"

The fear was evident in his voice. "You told me to wait, told me to trust you and I did. But you have to tell me, Mac. I can't stand this."

The tears that she had hoped could be avoided now filled her eyes.

Harm reached for her, placing his hands on her elbows. "Mac, how bad can it be? Is he splitting us up? Are you getting transferred?"

She simply nodded her head.

"That's not so bad, right? I mean, that was one of the scenarios that we planned for. I Where is it? Judiciary? NCIS? Wherever it is, Mac, we'll be okay, right? We'll be okay…"

The tears were now sliding down her cheeks, leaving a trail for the others that followed. She bit the side of her cheek as if it would somehow give her strength.

"Tell me!" He yelled. "Tell me where you're going!"

She shook her head, dreading the reality of the words that she had to utter.

"The Agency, Harm. I'm going to work for Webb."


	13. Chapter 13

He was speechless. A visible lump formed in his throat and his eyes practically bugged out of his head before he found his voice. "You're kidding me, right? Mac, this makes no sense."

She wiped the tears away and wrapped her arms tightly around her now shivering body. "Harm, can we—" she motioned toward the door.

"Yeah. Sure." He was quiet the entire way up to the apartment. Once the large metal door was shut, he began pacing.

"Harm, say something." She stood near the kitchen, watching the man that she loved try to find reason in a senseless situation.

He stopped pacing, and faced her from across the room. "I don't—I don't even know where to _begin,_ Mac. This goes beyond insane."

"I know." She looked to the ground, sensing his growing anger.

"I mean, the agency? Of all places, Mac. It doesn't even make sense. You would have to resign your commission to do that, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why you would agree to do that." The words were out of his mouth before he could think.

She snapped her head up. Now the tears were gone and the anger was emerging in her voice as well. "You think I want this? Is that what you're trying to say? Because if you are, we've got bigger problems than us getting separated!"

"I don't know what to think, Mac! One minute you're a JAG attorney, the next minute you're leaving to be a spook! There are other options! What about the other options? You know, the ones that wouldn't require you to resign?"

"You don't think that was _discussed_?" She was livid at his implications.

"I don't know _what_ was discussed because I wasn't in the room!" He was yelling, pacing the length of the room again and trying to find something to do with his hands.

"And that's my fault, how?" She wasn't going to back down. It was fear that was making him angry this time, and she of all people could relate.

He shook his head and walked over to stand in front of the window. "I need to know what happened in there, Mac. I need to try to understand."

"I know," she countered, "and I'm ready to explain it to you—or at least try, but you have to calm down first. This is exactly why we couldn't talk in the office."

"Because you knew I'd act like a crazed chimp?" He was only half joking.

"Something like that." She tried to smile, but it never fully formed.

She walked up behind him and touched his arm. "Why don't we sit down? Actually, I've got to get out of these clothes, and then how about we sit down?"

He nodded again, and she made her way to the bedroom. When she emerged in her favorite gray sweats and gray T-shirt, he was leaning against the kitchen counter. He had a bottle of water in his hand and offered it to her.

"Thanks," she said, sitting on the barstool in front of him. She opened the water and took a drink before beginning. "There were no openings at NCIS or on the bench right now. The only way that we could be separated at work but remain in the same town was for me to go to the CIA."

She shook her head and smirked. "I can't even believe I just said that."

Harm remained silent, still fixed on her face and waiting for more clarification. "Anyway, the Admiral, he…he feels betrayed. He implied that he always knew we'd get it together one day, but expected more of us. More of me." She looked down at the water and began peeling the damp label from the bottle.

"Did he mention Farrow?" Harm's voice was quiet, concerned now.

Mac shrugged her shoulders. "He didn't have to."

"So, because the Admiral feels betrayed, he's playing God and tearing our lives apart?"

"He doesn't see it that way. He actually views it as doing us a favor, believe it or not. The only other billet that made any sense was San Diego, and for obvious reasons, that didn't appeal."

"So what exactly does he think you'll be doing at the agency?"

"I'm not sure, but the fact that I speak Farsi and Russian was a definite boost to my resume." She smirked again, shaking her head and tossing the shreds of wet paper onto the counter.

"I don't know what to say. This is all just so—"

"Surreal?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

She looked like she could cry again, but was forcing herself not to. "I'm feeling a little tired. I think I'm just going to—would you mind if I—" she motioned for the bedroom.

"Sure. We can talk about this later." It wasn't at all what he wanted to say, but he could see the hurt in her eyes. She needed some space to process it all and he needed to figure out how to fix the situation. Never in a million years did he think the Admiral capable of this sort of decision.

And Mac. She had made more than a career out of becoming a marine. It was her life. She had worked harder than anyone he'd known to climb out of a pit and to point her life in the right direction. The agency made no sense. It was not a good fit for her and he knew it. He hated that this had happened, because she was bearing the weight of the punishment. To say that it was unfair was too weak a word.

He realized that since she had gotten home, he hadn't even so much as given her a hug. He made his way to the bathroom and leaned against the door frame. She didn't see him approach because her face was covered in a warm wash cloth, trying to wipe away more than just make up. When she looked in the mirror, she saw him watching her. Again she tried to smile, but it never reached her eyes.

"Come here," He said quietly and she willingly complied.

She melted into his embrace and he held her tightly, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. "It's going to be o.k., Sarah. We'll get through this. I don't know how, but we'll get through it. Together."


	14. Chapter 14

They lay together in bed, cocooned in the warmth of the blankets. "Are you awake?" he finally whispered.

She turned to face him. "Yeah. Guess you can't sleep, either?"

"No." He propped himself up on his elbow but never removed his left arm from her waist. "I just keep thinking about how wrong this is. And for the life of me I can't figure out why the Admiral would put all of this on you and not me."

Mac had been tracing her fingers up the length of his arm and then stopped. "It doesn't matter, Harm."

"It does to me. I'm the one that just took an F14 for a dip in the Atlantic. I'm the one that fired a weapon in the courtroom and has broken just about every other rule known to man."

"Exactly," she replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He would expect for you to make a decision that could potentially end your career. You're the renegade, the fighter, the risk-taker."

"I'm not sure how to take that…"

"It's a compliment. From me, anyway."

There was a long period of silence. "You don't blame yourself for this, do you Mac?"

She pulled back to get a better look at him, propping herself up on her elbow to face him. "Of course I do. I knew better. Just because I didn't like the rule doesn't mean that I should be exempt from breaking it."

"Mac, you said yourself the Admiral figured we'd get together sooner or later."

"I know, but like I said, he was disappointed. I could tell that I'd let him down."

"_We_ let him down, Mac. I can't believe he's put all of this on you. He didn't say one word to me about it at all. I mean, what the hell is that supposed to mean? And besides, it's not like we did anything that crazy. People in uniform have done this sort of thing before and not gone to the chopping block."

"Yeah, well, he thought our careers meant more to us than that." 

"Well, mine doesn't. And I fully intend on telling him that first thing Monday morning." He lay back down so that he was facing the ceiling, with one hand behind his head.

"Harm, no. You can't. You can't talk to him about this." Mac sat up in bed.

"Of course I can talk to him about this. Did you really expect me not to? I mean, this is your life that he's messing with and now it affects me. Even before we got together I would have never let him jerk you around like this."

"Harm, there's nothing left to say. We knew we'd have to split up, and this is the only option right now."

"I don't buy that. He could have pulled a few more strings, or sent me to the Agency, or something. He didn't have to go after you."

"Harm, it's over. Please, just drop it. I'll report to Webb's office and see what they have in mind for me and we'll make the most of it." She tried to sound optimistic, even though the thought of working with Webb was not at all appealing.

"Like hell you are!" He turned to face her. "There is no way you're going to be working with that spook, not as long as I'm alive."

Mac was surprised at his statement. "What—what exactly is that supposed to mean?" She didn't know whether to be proud or angry.

"Mac, look at you! Someone like Webb would love to get his paws on you and it's not going to happen."

"So…now this is a territorial issue, is it?"

"You know what I mean."

"_No,_ I don't think I do. Please explain." The ire was growing in her voice and while Harm knew that he'd backed himself into a corner, he continued to make it worse.

"Mac, don't make this about your being capable or not. We both know you are. Hell, you could run off and join the circus and have the whole thing managed with your eyes closed. But I know people like Webb. He's a snake in the grass. He'll be hitting on you before the week is over."

"Excuse me?" Now she was mad. "What exactly makes you think that our relationship would be anything other than professional? And even if he did 'hit on me' as you so eloquently put it, what makes you think that I would tolerate it?"

His eyes grew wide. When she put it that way, he realized how ridiculous he'd sounded; especially given the implications of what had just transpired between them and the recent reference to Farrow.

"Mac, I know. I'm not making much sense, but the thought of you—"

"No, don't." She threw the covers off of her and began to stand when he sat up and reached for her arm. "Don't you dare try to shirk this off as some sort of thoughtless rambling. I know what you're trying to say, Harm."

"What? Why do I have to justify the fact that I don't like the idea of you working with him?"

"Because you're turning it into some warped laws of attraction, Harm, and you're not thinking about me—the human with a _brain_—at all!

"Mac, that's not true and you know it."

She pulled her arm from his grasp and stood at the foot of the bed, shaking her head. "I cannot believe this." 

He sat up and drew his knees to his chest, bracing himself for the volcano that was about to erupt. 

"I giv—I lose my career because the man that I love and I finally decide to throw caution to the wind and commit our _lives_ to one another. I get another job and before my first day in the office he's worried about the possible skirt chasing that will occur? Never mind matters of national security, Harm. Never mind terrorism or intelligence or language barriers or undercover operations. Never mind the actual excitement or talent or skill or _need_ that I might feel for the first time in a long time! Let's make this about _you_ and your damn _male insecurities_!" she yelled.

She was too angry to cry, but the tears still threatened to fall.

"Mac—" he began to stand when she motioned for him to stop.

"No. Don't bother getting up. I think—I think we're done here." She grabbed a pillow from the bed and made her way to the couch.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It's taking on a life of its own and I see some larger issues looming in the future; possibly even a major dose of angst. We'll see, and I'll try to update often.


	15. Chapter 15

Harm awaked to an empty bed and rubbed his eyes at the memory of the night before. He hated not sleeping next to Mac, and even more, hated the fact that they'd argued. It was their first official argument as a married couple and he hoped it would be the last. He climbed from the bed and went to the living room prepared to wake her up with a kiss, but instead found the couch empty and the blanket folded neatly on the cushion.

He went to the kitchen to look for a note, and was thankful to find one propped against the bowl of fruit.

"Harm," it read, "I think I need some time alone today to process everything. I'll call you later. M."

Harm wadded up the note and threw it into the trash can. "Great," he muttered as he let out a long sigh and headed back to bed.

Across town, Mac was taking a hot bath in her own tub. They had yet to decide which apartment to keep and until her lease was up, both places were available. She and Harm had been inseparable after the wedding, and spent most of their time at his place. It felt good to be back at home, among her belongings and familiar comforts.

After an early morning run, she welcomed the time to relax and to think about the previous day's events. Harm's words kept playing over in her mind, and while her anger had subsided somewhat, she still found it difficult to accept his blatant idea that she not work for Webb. She realized that by the end of the argument, she found herself looking forward to the job, and she wasn't sure why.

Changing careers was a huge step for Mac, and she didn't want to take sudden interest in a job just to spite Harm. But if working for the CIA was the reality of her world, then at some point she needed to accept it—and move forward. She thought about the benefits and the downfalls. She thought about how she would miss arguing cases and working with the staff at JAG. She would see Harm even less and would be traveling for days or weeks at a time.

She tried to shake the negative out of her head and to focus on what was best for her and Harm. There were times that she still couldn't believe that she was married, and this was one of them. As she sprinkled more lavender bath salt into the tub, she thought back to the last year of her life and how many changes had occurred.

Perhaps this was difficult to fathom because it all stemmed from their relationship. Before, their attraction was hidden and their professional relationship took priority. In a matter of months, that had all changed.

She laid her head back on the bath pillow and stared up at the ceiling. _I lost my career at JAG. I'm married. I'm no longer a marine. Harm and I are married, he's at JAG and he doesn't want me to work at the only place that is willing to hire me right now. _

As much as she tried, she couldn't fight the bitterness that seemed to be forming in her mind. Harm was right about one thing—they did both want to get married at the time and didn't want to wait. But what about now? What had it cost them, and more importantly, was it worth it? It was a question that would haunt Sarah Mackenzie for the rest of the afternoon.

It was almost eight o'clock in the evening when she heard a quiet knock on the door. She took a deep breath before letting him in.

The first thing that she noticed was that he looked worried. "Hey." He said, looking for any sign of forgiveness in her eyes.

"Hey." She said, moving to the side to let him in.

"You didn't call me." He stood near the couch, but didn't sit down, as if he wasn't sure he'd be able to stay.

She reached up and rubbed the back of her neck. "I was going to. I just—wasn't quite ready."

"I see." He looked down, holding his jacket in both hands. "Does that mean you'd like me to leave?"

"Harm, I don't want to fight."

"I don't either, Mac. Look, I'm sorry about what I said last night. I was a jealous idiot and I should have thought about how it sounded." He took a step toward her, but she remained still.

"This is bigger than last night, Harm."

The worry that spread across his face was obvious. "What does that mean?"

She shook her head, knowing that he needed to have the conversation whether she was ready or not.

"It means…it means that a lot has happened in my life in the past year."

"A lot has happened in _our_ lives, Mac. We're a team."

"Not professionally anymore."

"Mac, I told you that I will talk to the Admiral and convince him to let me go instead of you. It doesn't matter to me. All I want is for you to be happy."

She couldn't help but smile. She knew he was sincere, but that didn't change the whirlwind of decisions that had been made, or the consequences that she now faced.

"You know that don't you? Mac? You know that your happiness means everything to me?" He closed the distance between them until they were almost touching. It was difficult for her to think rationally when he was standing so close, clean-shaven and smelling of musk. She backed away and the hurt was evident on his face.

"Mac, don't shut me out. Tell me, please. Tell me what you're thinking."

Mac made her way over to the couch and sat down, drawing her legs up to the side.

"Harm, I'm not trying to scare you and I'm not trying to run away."

"But that's exactly what you did today."

"No, if I were running away, I wouldn't have answered the door, and I probably wouldn't even be here. I needed some space, Harm. This is new territory for us both—this relationship, this marriage, this job situation. It's a lot; a whole lot for me to digest. I'm trying to be thoughtful about how I communicate with you. I don't want to revert back to old habits."

"I understand that." He followed her to the couch and sat down, but at the opposite end so as not to crowd her.

"Do you realize that we've never even dated? I mean, there was Sydney, there was Mic, there was a kiss on the Admiral's porch, there was a broken engagement and a week later there was a wedding." She raised her voice slightly as she continued and laughed out loud, although nothing was funny. "And now there's the damn CIA! Do you realize what a soap opera that sounds like? And it's my life!" She pinched the bridge of her nose, unable to make eye contact with him yet.

"What do you want me to do, Mac?"

"I don't know."

He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. They were supposed to be a team, united in purpose and strength, but at the moment, she seemed more distant than ever.

Silence filled the air for what seemed like several minutes. Finally, he stood to leave. Even though it was killing him, he knew that she still needed her space, and that he should allow it. He reached for his jacket on the coffee table.

"Where are you going?" She finally looked up at him.

"Mac, it's obvious you don't want to talk, or if you do, not to me. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry that you lost your job. I'm sorry that it makes me nervous, jealous, worried and scared that you're gong to work with Webb. I'm sorry that we didn't get a chance to date and I'm sorry that we didn't bring the Admiral in on our decision to get married. But it's our life. It is what we make it, and I'm not sorry we got married. I don't regret it, but it seems like you do."

She started to interrupt, but he wouldn't allow it. "I told you, Mac, that I don't want you to resent me, and it seems like that's starting to happen. I want to talk to the Admiral, but you don't want me to. You don't want to work for Webb, and then it seems like you do. I don't get this, Mac. I'm trying, but I don't get what it is that I'm supposed to do to help you through this."

He made his way toward the door, hoping that she would jump up and block his path, and even waited with his hand on the doorknob. When she made no objection, he opened the door to leave. "Call me when you're ready to talk."

He closed the door behind him, and walked out into the hall feeling an overwhelming sadness. On the other side of the door sat his wife, still on the couch, confused and in tears.


	16. Chapter 16

It was dark when the key made its way into the door, quietly allowing entrance for the one that held it in her hand. The apartment was quiet and dark. She gently removed her shoes and tiptoed up the steps and into the bedroom.

Carefully lifting the sheets, she climbed in behind the large sleeping form of the man in front of her, wrapping her arm around his waist and pulling him close.

He was awakened immediately and turned to face her. He had to be sure he wasn't dreaming. When he made out the shape of her face in the dark, and what he thought might be a smile, he wasted no time in planting a firm kiss on her mouth to which she fully responded. Pulling him closer and holding him tight, she deepened the kiss and allowed him to cover her body with his own.

"I can't sleep without you." She whispered between kisses.

He stopped for a moment, towering above her, supporting his weight with his hands on either side of her head. "Sarah, don't leave me. Please. Don't ever leave me."

She pulled him down to answer him with a kiss, more passionate than the last, and spent the next hours saying "I love you, I'm sorry, and I'm here" without ever uttering a word.

THE NEXT MORNING 

They were both awake long before either decided to speak. She was nestled under his arm, enjoying the warmth of his embrace and the clarity that seemed to return with a good night of sleep.

He planted tiny kisses in her hair, and she gently stroked his arm with her fingertips. They lay like this for almost an hour, before she turned to face him. It was the first time that she had really looked into his eyes since the argument and since he left her apartment.

"Good morning." She smiled.

His voice was raspy. "It is now." He smiled, kissing her on the tip of her nose before closing his eyes again.

She couldn't help but laugh. His hair was messy, his chest was bare and for the life of her she couldn't fathom how this man could look strong, inviting and boyish all at the same time.

"Are you laughing at me, Mrs. Rabb?" He smiled, nuzzling his mouth into her neck, eliciting more laughter.

"No! I was just thinking about how handsome you are."

"Uh-huh. Then why the laughter?" He nipped at her earlobe as he spoke.

"Because, you're handsome—and you're cute in the mornings." She wore a huge grin, and tried to find some distance, which didn't prove an easy task.

"Oh really? Well I guess I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should." She backed away so that she could see his face again. She studied the lines on his forehead, the smile that was still displayed and watched as his eyes fluttered open.

"Now what are you thinking?" He asked.

"That you have idea how much I love you." Her voice grew serious, as she reached for his hand and laced her fingers with his.

He pulled their hands to his mouth, finding her fingers and placing a tender kiss on each one. "If it's half as much as I love you, then I have a pretty good idea."

"Harm," she began, "are you going to be okay with my new job? I really need your support."

He let out a long sigh and found trouble looking her in the eye. "I'll try, Mac. Right now that's the best I can do. I can't lie and tell you that I'm not worried—about your safety, and no, I'll never like Webb…" He was silent before continuing. "but I trust you. And I know that the agency is damn lucky to have you."

He looked back up at her face, and found her smiling once again. It was a lop-sided smile, the one that he loved the best.

"Thank you."

"You know I still want to talk to the Admiral…"

"Not necessary, Harm. You need to trust me. It won't do either of us any good."

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll try. One day I'm going to have to understand his thinking on this, I know that."

"Thank you. Again." She scooted back toward him until their bodies were flush, and began planting her own line of kisses from his shoulder to his ear.

"Mac?"

"Mmm-hmm?"

"If this is what happens after we fight, then I think we need to fight more often." He smiled and closed his eyes as her kisses awakened his nerves.

She slapped him playfully on the arm, and continued in her assault.

* * *

A/N: O.k., I couldn't avoid a little dose of fluff after the angst! I assure you that I will always be a shipper at heart, no need to fear, but the angst helps me remain a little more true to their characters. Thank you all for the reviews, even though I know the leap to the CIA is totally ludicrous. Thanks for ignoring that fact with me! And the issue of the Admiral will be addressed...later. 


	17. Chapter 17

They stood together at the sink cleaning up the dishes from lunch. She dried the plates as he handed them to her. "I think I need to make a shopping run this afternoon. My civilian clothes aren't exactly appropriate for work."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Shopping? Wouldn't you be bored to tears?"

"Yes, but if you'd like the company…"

"That's not necessary, but I appreciate the offer. I won't be gone long."

Suddenly he reached for the towel, dried his hands and left the apartment.

"Harm?" She called after him, but heard nothing. 

She shook her head and set the last dry dish in the rack when she heard her cell phone ring. Walking over to pick it up, she recognized his number on the caller display.

"Hello?" She answered, clearly confused.

"Hi Sarah, it's Harmon Rabb." The voice on the other end was cheerful, as if they hadn't spoken in months.

"Yes, I'm aware of that fact. Where are you?"

"Listen," he continued, completely ignoring the question, "I was wondering if you have any plans this evening. I thought maybe we could go out to dinner."

She was totally confused at this point. "Harm, we were just talking about me going shopping. I said it wouldn't take—"

He interrupted her. "Great, what if I pick you up at your place, say around 6?"

"Okay…"

"Good. Dress evening casual. I'll see you then." He hung up before she could get another word out.

She went to the door and opened it, wondering if she would find him standing in the hall, but he wasn't there. When she came back in and looked out the window, she saw his car leaving the parking lot. 

She shook her head and smiled. "Strange…" she muttered to herself, reaching for her purse to leave.

6 p.m.

She finished curling her hair and was fastening the last clasp on her dress when she heard the knock.

"Coming!" She yelled from down the hall. She opened the door and said, "You could have just used your key—"

The sight of him took her breath away. He was wearing khaki pants, a blue, silk fitted shirt with a sport coat on top. His right hand was behind his back.

"Wow. Don't you look handsome!" She reached up to greet him with a kiss, but he backed away. 

"I never kiss on the first date. At least, not until I know that she likes me."

"Excuse me?" Mac took the bouquet of flowers from his hand, more puzzled than offended.

"A date, Sarah. This is a date that we're on. You remember, don't you? I called to ask you out, you said yes…"

Suddenly she knew what he was trying to do and it made her smile an enormous, goofy smile. "Yes, I remember."

In that moment she was certain that she'd never loved him more. She wanted to cry, but was too excited and felt like a teenager going to prom with the captain of the football team.

He held the door open for her, "Shall we?" He smiled. He knew that he had surprised her, and was pleased with her response. She grabbed her purse and walked out of the apartment, eager for the date to begin.

It was difficult, but Harm kept the conversation light, and asked questions of her as if they didn't know one another well. It was awkward at first, but soon she was playing along. 

"So, do you enjoy your work at JAG?" She asked.

"Not as much anymore. I was really close to my partner and she recently left, so I'm a little out of sorts. In fact, I'm not sure it'll ever be the same."

"I'm sure she wouldn't have left you unless there was a good reason." She smiled.

"There was. She got married."

"Well, I'm sure that she's very happy." 

"I hope so. She deserves it." He smiled, and pulled into the parking garage at the convention center. "Do you like steak?" He asked.

"Love it." She couldn't stop smiling.

"Good. We have reservations at Ruth's Chris. I've always wanted to eat here." 

"Me too." She smiled, trying again not to let herself cry.

FOUR HOURS LATER

"Harm, I had a great time tonight. Dinner, the carriage ride…it was perfect. Thank you."

"Well thank you for agreeing to go out with me. I hope that I can see you again." He smiled. Finally tiring of the charade, he reached across the console and took her hand in his. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"No, not really." She paused. "Well, maybe a little. But I'll be fine. I'm trying to look at it as an adventure."

He smiled, but this time it was less sincere, as if there was something that he was trying not to say. She realized over the last two days that this was going to be as difficult for him as it was for her. She gave his hand a squeeze; a silent affirmation that it would all be o.k., and then tried to lighten the mood.

"So, if you don't kiss on the first date, I guess it's out of the question that you stay over at my place?"

They laughed. "Well, Miss Mackenzie, that's very forward of you, but probably in your case, I'd be willing to make an exception."

"What, with the kissing or the sleeping over?" 

"Both." He smiled.

"Good," she countered, "I like it when you break the rules."


	18. Chapter 18

One month later 

It had been a busy four weeks for Mac and Harm. She was immersed in long and arduous training sessions at the agency, and Harm was dealing with a backlog in cases. He had yet to get used to the idea that she was no longer at JAG, but honored her wish that he carry on as best he could. The Admiral treated him with strict professionalism, although both knew that their relationship had soured. It was the elephant in the room that had yet to be addressed.

The dating continued when possible, with Mac taking the lead from time to time and asking Harm out. On a Monday he found an email asking him to meet her for dinner, on a Friday morning he found a note on the bathroom mirror telling him to get his flying gear ready, and more than once she surprised him with dinner when he'd had to work late.

Talk about work was kept to a minimum. It was an unspoken agreement that at least until both were more comfortable with the new arrangement, the less attention given to it, the better. Both dreaded the day when Mac would be called away on her first mission, and hoped that not talking about it would somehow prevent it from happening.

It was a clear winter day when Harm came back from court with a huge grin on his face. He and Bud had successfully defended a young lieutenant accused of insubordination. It had been a long fight, but they were able to convince the jury of his innocence. It was the first time in a long time that he had smiled at work.

He grabbed his messages from Harriet, who had a blank look on her face. "Commander, Colonel—" she quickly corrected herself, "Mac is here to see you."

Harm looked into his office and saw Mac's figure leaning against the wall. "Hey," he greeted as he opened the door, "what brings you by on a weekday afternoon?"

She was wearing a stunning diamond necklace and a black fitted dress that were not at all normal work attire. She tugged nervously at the heavy necklace.

"Wow, I don't remember _that _dress…and where did you get that—" Suddenly, he knew. She tried not to cry, but the tears were filling her eyes. "I'm sorry." She covered her mouth with her hand in an effort to keep it from quivering. "I have to leave."

"Where."

"Can't say."

"How long?" He closed in eyes in dread, knowing the answer that would follow.

"Don't know." She paused. "Look, I'm not supposed to be here. I was, uh…I was supposed to meet Webb half an hour ago, but I couldn't—I had to see you before I left."

He closed the distance between them and took her firmly in her arms. He was terrified for her safety, and hated the thought of her leaving, but knew that she needed his support more than ever, even if it was forced.

"Hey," he whispered as he stroked her back, "it probably won't be so bad. You'll give 'em hell and show those agency types how it's really done—marine style."

"I'm sorry, Harm."

He broke the embrace in order to look her in the eye. He lifted her chin and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "You know if they see you crying, they might think they have the wrong person for the job." He tried to smile, but the thought of her leaving was about to break him.

"What if they do?"

She was scared. She didn't want to go, and it was as close to an admission as she could get.

"Mac, we both knew this day was coming. All we can do is hope that it won't be as bad as we feared, okay? Just stay strong, Marine. Keep your head up and you'll be home stealing my covers again before you know it." He felt his voice begin to shake, and wondered how much longer he could give the pep talk, when he didn't believe a word that he was saying.

She leaned in for a kiss. He cupped her face and returned the kiss with the same intensity and need with which it was delivered. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her close, just as her cell phone began to ring.

Mac unwillingly broke the kiss, took one look at the phone and shook her head. "I'm on my way," she said without a greeting of any sort. "Yes, I am aware of that." She wiped her eyes, hoping that Harm didn't notice. "Yes, I understand. I'm on my way." She slammed the phone shut, and looked back up at Harm.

"Duty calls." She tried to smile, walking toward the door.

"Will you call?"

"I'll try."

"Email?"

"I'll do whatever I can."

She opened the door, and turned to face him with a sad smile. "I love you." She mouthed the words and blew him a kiss, before hurriedly turning to leave.

"Damnit!" he yelled, to no one in particular, picking up a file folder and throwing it to the ground.

The entire staff at JAG figured out what had happened. His mood had quickly turned from almost normal again to worse than ever, and they knew to stay out of his way. It had been four days since Mac left, and he had yet to hear a word, despite his attempts to call just about everyone at the agency, and even Webb's mother. He didn't care who he called or what they thought about him. He just needed to know that she was safe.

He tried in vain to concentrate on the case file in front of him, when his phone rang. "Rabb" he barked. "Deputy Kershaw. Do you know where Mac is? Have you heard—" he suddenly stopped speaking. He sat at his desk with his head down and hand massaging his forehead. He didn't utter a word. He simply removed the phone from his ear and placed it forcefully in its cradle.

He sat still for a moment, in a complete and total daze. "Damnit," he said quietly at first, and then louder, "DAMNIT!" He stood quickly from his chair, knocking it back into the wall, and stormed out of his office.

"Tiner, I need to see the Admiral." He didn't wait for permission, and instead opened the door, eyes brimming with anger.

The Admiral looked up from his glasses, and nodded to an apologetic Tiner that it was okay. "Close the hatch."

"Yes sir." He hadn't even gotten to the door when the shouting began.

"This is _your_ fault!" Harm yelled with his finger pointed straight at the Admiral. "_You _did this. You had to tear her away to prove some DAMN stupid point, and now look! Are you happy, _sir_? Does it make you smile with pleasure to know that she's missing and that the shit-for-spook that she's supposed to be with is nowhere on the radar? _DOES IT_?" He slapped his hand down hard on the desk.

The Admiral sat stone-faced and undeterred, as if he'd been waiting for this moment. He knew that Harm wasn't finished, so he simply removed his glasses and braced himself for the verbal lashing that was about to continue.

"How do you live with yourself, really?" Harm was now pacing around the room, driven by energy and raw emotion. "Because of some crap code of conduct, because of your fatherly 'you let me down' mentality, she's gone. Gone! Do you _understand_ that? You couldn't keep her. Nooo. You had to be the hard ass and leave _me_ here, knowing that it would be hell on me, which let's face it, is what _you've_ _always wanted_! Well, congratulations, Admiral. The son-of-a-bitch naval lawyer has been brought to his knees. Are. You. Happy." He spat.

His breathing was labored. He pulled his uniform jacket down hard, and stared straight into the Admiral's eyes.

"Commander, have a seat."

Harm stood, motionless.

"Commander, sit."

Harm shook his head in disbelief, but found himself sitting as he was ordered.

It was the Admiral's turn to speak. "First of all, this is the first that I've heard of Mac's disappearance. Second of all, I think it's about time that you and I had a talk." He leaned forward on his desk.

"The Colonel convinced me not to divulge this information to you, just as I suspect that she convinced you to leave me alone. She's the only woman, God knows, that could ever get through to you, so I suspect that's the only reason you haven't stormed in here sooner."

The look on Harm's face went from fury to slight confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"When I found out that you and Mac had gotten married, first of all, I was relieved. The two of you have danced around each other so damn long it's made all of our heads spin. But the fact remained that I couldn't keep you both. I weighed the options, looked at your records and even lost a few hours of sleep trying to figure out what the hell to do. Finally I decided that Mac would be better off staying here at JAG. You seemed to have a number of different options the way I saw it, to remain in the navy. Mac, however, seemed to have fewer options since there were no openings on the bench."

"But, why—how come you decided that Mac should go, and how come—"

"Let me finish. I wanted to talk to you about my decision—separately—so that I didn't have to deal with you two interrupting and bickering and all of the other crap that you usually do when you're trying to be chivalrous. When I called her in to explain my decision, she fought me tooth and nail."

"What do you mean, she fought you? Admiral, what are you saying?"

The Admiral let out a noticeable sigh. "I'm _saying_ that she absolutely demanded that you be able to remain at JAG. She said that you were closer to getting your twenty in, and that she should be the one to go. She told me that if I let you go, she would resign immediately and then I'd be out two lead attorneys. I told her that at NCIS was booked and that there were no options on the bench, but that maybe if she held out, something would open up while you were flying tomcats temporarily or something. Hell, I don't know what I thought at the time. I was just trying to make it work. For both of you."

Suddenly everything that Mac had told him about her conversation with the Admiral made perfect sense. Of course she didn't want him to confront the Admiral or to question his decision; she didn't want him to learn that she had sacrificed her career for his.

His shoulders slumped in the chair, as the wheels continued to turn in his head.

Admiral Chegwidden continued, answering any lingering questions. "Harm, for what it's worth, she wouldn't leave my office until she had my word that you would stay. And I wouldn't let her leave until we found somewhere that she could work; some place that she could land."

"But going to the agency meant that she had to resign."

"I know. Believe me, we made countless phone calls when she was here. I pulled every string I possibly could, and that's the best that I could do." There was a long pause. "I'm sorry."

Harm sat in disbelief. He was at a complete loss for words. The two remained silent for several minutes, when finally Harm stood to leave.

"Thank you, sir, for explaining." Both of them knew that he wanted to apologize for the outburst, but both also knew that the Admiral understood why he had lost his temper.

Harm turned to leave when the Admiral called after him. "Commander, let me know if you hear anything, and I'll make a few calls myself."

Harm nodded, and walked out of the office.

* * *

A/N: This is the part that kept me from finishing this story the first time. I hate to put myself in a position where the critics come out of the woodwork saying that it's not realistic, and that's not how it would happen, and blah, blah, blah. But, one sweet reviewer reminded me that this is fiction, so I should carry on. I hope it flies for most of you. If not, well, I don't know what else to say. Also, grammar and spelling mistakes are mine, admittedly; a price that is paid for updating relatively quickly and not letting this sit for weeks at a time. I will, however, try to edit more carefully in the future. 


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

A/N: This chapter is short, and I'm choosing to avoid an exact replay of the Paraguay fiasco--at least to the same extent, but more to follow soon. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I appreciate it greatly.

* * *

Harm didn't remember the drive home from work. He was focused on getting home to check his answering machine for messages and to begin another round of phone calls to everyone in Washington that he could think of. 

When the light on the machine was flashing, he was hopeful to hear her voice. Disappointment consumed him when it was an automated message asking him to take part in a survey.

He found himself sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. Mac was missing. Kershaw had only said that she'd gone to South America and that he would be in touch. Bastard. It was no wonder he got paid to be a spook for a living—he was heartless just like the rest of them.

None of this was right. Mac belonged at JAG, in the courtroom. He thought back to the Admiral's words: "She fought me tooth and nail," he'd said.

Harm shook his head in disbelief. He felt helpless. He fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, looking for answers. "Please," he whispered, "let her be alright."

It was midnight when he awakened to the sound of his phone ringing. He couldn't believe that he'd actually fallen asleep. "Rabb!" he said desperately into the phone.

Static filled the line, making it difficult to make out the voice on the other end. "Mac?" he pleaded. "Mac! Is that you? Are you alright?"

The static was too much. He heard no voices, only the sound of the caller hanging up. "Mac!" He yelled, even though he knew that no one was there. "Damnit!" he slammed down the phone, but didn't move. He was hoping with every fiber of his being that they would call back.

He pulled the cell phone out of his pocket in order to keep his land line free. He dialed her cell number as well as Webb's. He tried calling the agency and leaving a message for Kershaw—again. He left a message for Bobbi Latham, the SecNav and just about every other politician he'd ever met. He didn't care that it was the middle of the night. Something was wrong with Mac and he needed answers.

The nervous energy that consumed him made it difficult to sleep or eat or do just about anything productive. He didn't want to leave the apartment in case she called. All he could do was sit and wait.

He picked up his guitar in an effort to distract himself, but to no avail. He flipped through the pages of the _Redbook _magazine that she'd left lying on the coffee table. He stopped when he noticed blue ink on one of the pages. It was a survey that Mac had filled out. When he looked at the title of the page, it read, "How healthy is your marriage?" Mac had answered with the highest possible score on just about every question—but one.

He looked at question sixteen that read, "Our wedding was everything that I dreamed it would be." Mac had marked a number 1 for this question, with 5 being the highest. He closed the magazine. He had no idea that she had wanted a formal wedding ceremony. In the entire flurry of excitement, he'd never taken the time to ask. She seemed happy the last few months, but when he thought about it, they never even had the chance to go on a honeymoon, not to mention the fact that her entire professional career had just been turned upside down.

_Way to go, Hammer._ He thought to himself. _In typical Rabb fashion, you marry the girl and then start dating. When was she supposed to get to be a bride? _He made a silent promise to himself that if—when Mac came home, he would start back at the beginning, and do it the way that he should have the first time; the way that she deserved.

The sound of a key in the door startled him out of his thoughts. He stood from the couch just as the door creaked open.

"Mac?"

* * *

TBC 


	20. Chapter 20

"Thank God!" He couldn't get to her quickly enough. He took her in his arms and held on for dear life.

She fell eagerly into his embrace, clinging to him as much as her weary body would allow. He kissed her on the top of her head before taking a good look at her. It was then that he noticed the large cut on her forehead and the bruise on her cheek. His eyes went wide with concern.

"Mac—what happened? Where the hell did Webb drag you to?"

She smiled and looked up at him, caressing his face with her hand. "I'm so happy to see you."

He led her over to the couch, never letting go of her hand. "I was so worried, Mac. Kershaw called to tell me that you'd gone missing—I had no idea where you were, or how I could get to you to help…"

Mac leaned her head back on the couch, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry. I wanted to call. Tried to call." She was visibly exhausted. "Think I need a shower." She tried to speak clearly, but sleep was about to overcome.

Harm stroked her bangs away from her face, getting a better look at her wound. "Sure. We can talk later. Let me help you to the shower." He stood and leaned down to offer a hand. They walked arm in arm to the bathroom, where he turned the water on for her. She undressed as if she were sleep walking, almost unaware of her surroundings. When she walked past Harm and stepped into the shower, he saw that her back was covered in scratches as well as more bruises.

He almost choked with emotion, finding it difficult not to grill her for answers, but knew that this wasn't the time. He waited for her with a large, dry towel. Circling her in it, he guided her to the bed where he quickly went to grab a clean shirt and underwear for her to sleep in.

"Thanks." She mumbled, before pulling the shirt over her head. "Lie down with me?" Her eyes were closed before she hit the pillow. He crawled in beside her, and felt her pull his arm tight around her waist.

It was twelve hours later when she finally awoke. She opened her eyes and took in the surroundings. Once she realized that she was home, she turned to see Harm sitting up in bed, staring at her. She smiled at the sight of him, thankful that it wasn't a dream.

"Come here." She said, holding the blanket up for him to get closer. He willingly obliged, and gave her another big hug, careful not to hurt her. "You have no idea how good it feels to be home in this bed. With you."

He kissed her on the forehead. "You have no idea how relieved I am to have you home."

She situated herself comfortably on her side so that she could see him better. "I'm so sorry, Harm. I knew you were probably worried."

"That's an understatement." He turned to his side in order to face her, eager to hear what she had to say. "Are you ready to talk about it? Where were you? What happened?"

She let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well, the official answer is that it's classified. But the off-the-record-confidential version that I will give you is that I was in Paraguay. We were supposed to be posing as diamond dealers in the hopes of meeting up with a well-known arms dealer, who shall remain nameless."

Harm couldn't believe what she had said. "Mac, your very first mission out and this is where they send you? What the hell was Webb thinking?" He was incredulous.

"They were thinking that since I'm a marine, I could handle the level of danger." She laughed again, rubbing her temple with her hand.

"So, what happened, then? How come they thought you were missing?"

"Because we were. We had to abort the mission when our cover was blown. Seems Webb's body-guards worked for the highest bidder, which not surprisingly wasn't us." She shook her head, clearly re-living a memory that she wasn't yet willing to share. "Anyway, we made it out—barely—and had to hike for miles back to town."

The thought of her with Webb alone in the Paraguayan forest was not a welcome one. He looked down at the bed, his reaction not lost on her. She tilted his chin up. "Hey, I know what you're thinking, and let me just tell you that I have never before seen such a whiny, spineless display of manhood in my entire life. You have no idea how often I referred to you—out loud—wishing that you were there."

"You did?" He felt a little childish in his insecurity, but it was good to hear her validate his fears nonetheless.

"Harm, if it had been you down there with me, I have no doubt that Sad—that the terrorist would not have gotten away."

"Is Webb really that incompetent?" He was surprised to hear her account.

"I wouldn't say that he's incompetent, but he certainly has a narrow scope of operation, and if the situation veers from his comfort zone, then he isn't the calm agent in control."

Harm smiled. "I can just see you—leading him by the ear out of the jungle…"

"It wasn't exactly a jungle, Harm." She smiled at the sight of him. "But you're not too far off in your assessment." She reached up to cup his face, now a serious tone in her voice. "I missed you so much."

"We need to talk about this, Mac. I don't know…I don't know if I can do this." It was all that he could say about it for now, and she agreed.

"We will talk about it. Later." She placed a gentle kiss on his mouth that quickly turned heated. She pulled him over on top of her, pulling the covers around them, blocking out the rest of the world, at least for awhile.

* * *

TBC! Thanks again for the reviews! 


	21. Chapter 21

Mac could hear him talking on the phone when she woke up, realizing that she must have fallen asleep again.

She got up from the bed and stretched, again grateful to look around and see that she was home. She stepped down from the bedroom, and gave him a look of question. He pointed to the coffee pot on the counter and motioned that it would be just a minute before he hung up.

"I see. Yes, I do. I think it will. Yes, I will. Thank you, Admiral. Bye."

Mac raised her eyebrow upon hearing the word "Admiral" as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Did he call you or did you call him?"

"I uh…I called him to let him know that you're home and safe."

"Well that was nice." She leaned forward to kiss him across the counter. "But it sounded like sort of a deep conversation."

Harm rubbed his hands together, unsure of how to proceed.

"What?" She asked, wondering why he was stalling.

"When you were gone…that is, when I found out that you were missing…I sort of…" he looked up at her, wondering if he should continue, "I lost it a little bit." He reached back to rub his own neck, as if for support. "With the Admiral."

She set her coffee cup down. "Harm—"

"I know, I know, but I couldn't help it. I was furious, and scared, and I didn't know what else to do."

"What did you say?" Her eyes were growing wide with wonder.

"I just sort of, you know, told him that it was entirely his fault." He winced, waiting for her reaction.

She pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "You didn't."

"Yeah, I sort of…did. But it's okay, I mean. Now it is. We talked."

She snapped her head up to look at him directly in the eyes. "What do you mean, you 'talked'?"

He didn't back down, even though he was slightly fearful of her reaction. "He told me, Mac. He told me that you talked him into leaving JAG instead of me."

She said nothing for a moment, looking down at her coffee cup. "I see."

He reached across to take her hands in his, removing them from the warmth of her mug. "Mac, you didn't have to do that. I would have been more than willing to leave."

"I know that."

"Then why? Why didn't you let me try to get transferred or go TAD, or something?"

"Because I know how much your naval career means to you, Harm, and I didn't want to mess that up."

"Mac, your career meant just as much to you…we could have talked about it."

"What was there to talk about, Harm? One of us had to go. I didn't think it should be you, okay?" She was beginning to get defensive.

"For what it's worth, Mac, no one has ever done anything like that for me. It was a huge sacrifice on your part. Even though I wish we could have talked about it…thank you."

"There's no need to thank me. You probably would have done the same thing if the situation were reversed."

"You're probably right." He smiled, and she smiled in return. "Anyway, the Admiral and I were just talking, and it seems that Judge Carter has developed a serious heart condition and has decided to retire."

"Judge Carter? That's too bad. He's one of my favorites." She wasn't getting the point.

"Mac, it means that there's an opening. For you, if you want it."

She could see the nervousness on his face, the hesitation in his voice was obvious. He was scared that the thrill and excitement of the CIA had lured her away for good, even though he hoped that her first mission would be her last.

She decided to play with him, for just a minute. "Me? Back at JAG on the bench?" She pretended to give it some thought. "I don't know, Harm, I mean, it's more change. I just went through all of that training…"

Worry lines began to form on his face. "Mac, I know it would be another change, but I'm not sure if I can take this. We're just starting our lives together. Do you really want us to spend that much time apart?" He was trying desperately to convince her.

"I see what you're saying." She twirled her coffee mug back and forth in her hands.

"Mac, we could ride to work together most of the time. We'd be in the same building again. We could have lunch together. You know that I'll support whatever decision that you make, but I hope that you'll at least give it some consideration."

"Well…if we could ride to work together…" a small smile began to play on her face.

"Does that mean…are you going to come back?"

She couldn't stand it any longer. "Harm, of course I will." She smiled. "Given the fact that I've been officially unemployed for the last 24 hours, I think it sounds perfect."

He was stunned. "You quit?"

She nodded her head.

"You quit." He said it again, hoping that it wasn't a joke.

"Yes, Harm. I quit. I'm not going to walk out on you like that ever again, even if it is for a noble cause."

He was off of his barstool and lifting her off of the ground in a matter of seconds. She couldn't contain the laughter.

"Thank you, Mac. Thank you." His signature flyboy grin was back in full force. He set her down and placed a hard kiss on her lips. He cupped her face firmly and kissed her again, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "This is great, Mac."

"It is, isn't it?" She smiled broadly. "You and me, together again. Sort of." She shrugged.

"This is cause for celebration." Suddenly an idea came to him and he ran to get the phone book.

"Harm, what are you doing?" She laughed, never having seen him this animated before.

"Mac, just do me a favor. Go stand in the hall or the bathroom ...or something, so that you can't hear." He began to dial, making a shooing motion with his hands.

She rolled her eyes and walked out into the hall. It was at least a minute before he opened the door to let her back in.

"Okay, you can come in now." He smiled, taking her in his arms.

"Harm, what was all that about?"

"You and me, Sarah. It's about you…and me."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: O.k., I've done fluff before, but this is a pure sap alert. Usually the sappier it gets, the less true to character it seems. SO, I broke my own rule and I'm not even sure why, but that's how it came out. A chapter or two more and then we're finished! Thanks for the reviews.

* * *

"Wow," Harm stuttered as she twirled around in front of him in her black halter dress, "I mean, _wow_." He walked toward her with his arms outstretched, unable to keep himself from taking her in with his eyes, and his hands. 

"You like?" She smiled, enjoying the attention. It had been too long since she'd gotten dressed up. Her hair was curled and pulled up loosely, her neck left bare just like her back, and simple pearl stud earrings accented her glowing face.

"Sarah…" he whispered, moving in to plant a kiss right behind her earlobe.

She tilted her head back to accommodate his touch, pulling him close and closing her eyes. "Harm…didn't you say that we have reservations?"

"Mmm-hmm…" he was distracted by the scent of fruit on her neck. Or was it flowers? He didn't know and didn't care.

Laughing, she finally pushed him gently away. "Then don't you think that we need to get going?"

He let out a sigh of frustration. "I guess. But later, Mackenzie…"

"How come when you speak adoringly to me I'm a 'Rabb', but when you're feeling mischievous you call me 'Mackenzie'?" She questioned as he opened the door of the apartment. "Do I sense a bias, Counselor?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He lifted her hand to his mouth before leading them to the elevator. "But it's probably no different than you calling me 'Flyboy' when you're happy, and 'Navy' when I'm in trouble." He countered.

"Right—like you're in trouble a lot with me."

"Well, not so much now, but in the past…"

"You mean in the past when you were a pain in the ass? Before you came to your senses?"

"Hah," he laughed, "are you saying that you've made an honest man out of me?"

"If you were an honest man, you'd tell me where we're going."

"Not happening, Mackenzie. Rabb, I mean."

"Some day we'll get to the bottom of this." She arched her eyebrow.

"What, where we're going?"

"No. My names. Why sometimes I'm 'Mac' and other times I'm 'Sarah'. Sometimes it's 'Mackenzie', sometimes 'Rabb'…"

"Sometimes it's—"

"Don't you dare!" She looked around as they walked to the car. "We're in public now."

He flashed a huge grin as he opened her car door. "Okay, then. Later, Mackenzie." He waggled his eyebrows and walked to the other side of the car.

Thirty minutes later

"The Kennedy Center?" Mac questioned as they exited the car.

"Don't worry, I plan on feeding you."

"Harm, we're not going to the Roof Terrace, are we?" She couldn't believe her eyes.

He nodded. "Only the best for you."

"I've always wanted to eat here. Harm, the view is supposed to be amazing!"

"It already is." He smiled, and drew her in for a kiss.

Once they were seated, Mac couldn't stop admiring the view that looked out over the Potomac. "Harm, this is incredible. Thank you for doing this."

"The night isn't over yet, you know."

Mac couldn't stop smiling.

"What?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, it's just…I never would have pegged you for a romantic." She reached across the table for his hands. "But since we've been together, you've swept me off of my feet. I must say that I'm impressed."

"You deserve it, Sarah." His voice now serious. "I'm glad that we found each other. I mean, really found each other." He held her hands in his and looked at the ring on her finger, twirling it around.

"Me too." She smiled. "I know we hit a few rough patches along the way, but I don't have any regrets."

He continued staring at her ring, a silver band that they had purchased in haste before the ceremony.

"Harm…why do you keep looking at my ring?"

"Oh, I don't know, it just seems so…bland."

"I love it. It reminds me of our wedding."

He looked up at her. "Mac, I would hardly call that a wedding. You, me, a courthouse…"

She laughed. "Okay, so it wasn't Cinderella, but it was what we wanted."

"Was it?" He questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Sarah…" he released her hands from his, and stood from his chair. Her eyes grew wide as he walked around to her side of the table and knelt down on one knee before her. He reached inside of his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. "…that you mean the world to me. And it would be my privilege if you would do me the honor…"

She gasped in disbelief as he opened the small box.

"…of becoming my wife. Again."


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: O.k., this is it! It's finished. Thanks to Janlaw for the much needed advice. And yes, I know that it's not possible for the following to happen, but I wanted to ignore reality just one more time in this little tale. It's a scene that wouldn't leave me alone. Thanks for all of the reviews! You guys are great!

* * *

"Objection! Your honor, counsel is leading the witness!" Harm was agitated and losing control quickly.

"Overruled." Mac delivered a stern response.

"But—" Harm had to remind himself that they were in the courtroom and not at home; a task that was proving difficult.

Mac gave him a knowing look before turning back to the witness on the stand. "Lieutenant, please continue."

Two hours later

"Enter!" Mac said just as she sat down behind her desk.

When the door opened slowly, she knew that it was him. "What brings you to my chambers?"

"Don't you mean to ask what brings me to your web?"

She glared at him. "Harm, if you're trying to be funny, it's not working."

"I know. It's just that—"

"Harm, we're not allowed to discuss the case privately. Nor would I want to."

"I know," he conceded.

"So, have you secured for the day?" She tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if we could grab some dinner on the way home, maybe finalize the plans for the weekend."

She was relieved to see that he wasn't holding a grudge; or at least he wasn't showing it. "That sounds great. Why don't you give me a second to finish up this email and I'll meet you downstairs?"

"See you in a few," he lingered by the edge of her desk, hoping that she would indulge him in a discreet act of physical affection.

Reading his mind, she responded without so much as looking up from the monitor. "Harm, we're in my office. We can't."

Dejected, he turned toward the door. "What does a guy have to do to score some points with the lady in black?" He knew better, but couldn't help the teasing.

"Ginger chicken, fried rice and a backrub, for starters…" She winked as he closed the door behind him.

Mac's apartment 7 p.m.

Harm removed his uniform jacket before grabbing two plates and two forks from the kitchen. Mac kicked off her shoes by the front door as was habit, before setting the warm brown bag on the table and heading to the bedroom to change.

When she emerged in black sweats and a black fitted T-shirt, she looked much more relaxed. "Mmmm," she closed her eyes and sat down at the table. "smells delicious."

Harm straddled the back of the chair and sat down, opening the bags of food. "So, besides a gift for Chaplain Turner, what else do we need to do?"

"Pick up your suit, for one thing. I'm going to get a pedicure tomorrow after work, and then we should be all set to go."

"A pedicure?"

"Yes, a pedicure. It's been awhile since I've had one. Harriet's going with me. It's sort of a pre-wedding ritual."

"Well what are the rituals for the groom? Any that I should be aware of?"

"_No,_" she replied emphatically. "You just show up like a good boy and stay away from any night life."

"You're running a tight ship today."

"Are we back to that?" she set her fork down, wondering if he was genuinely upset about the trial.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've fared better, that's all."

"Don't make me respond to that the way that I'd like to."

"Well, it didn't have to look like I was in the doghouse."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Harm, once Bud asked that the record show that we were married, we were walking a thin line. We're walking one anytime we're in the courtroom together now. And like I said, we can't talk about it."

He gave her a mock glare, before placing the fork full of noodles in his mouth. She shook her head, trying to change the subject.

"So once you pick up your suit, you'll head to Bud's to pick him up?"

"I'm not going to wait for you?" he looked confused.

"No, we're driving separately."

"Mac, is that really necessary? I mean, we're already married."

"Yes! I want it to seem like it's the first time. I want it to be…"

"Romantic?"

"Yeah, romantic." She smiled.

"Well, o.k., I guess I can wait until I see you in the room."

She smiled as she shook her head no.

"What? We can't even share a room? Maaaac," he whined.

She stood with her plate in hand to take it to the sink. "Patience, Sailor. Patience."

Two days later  


"…and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Harm finished the vows with as much strength as he could muster. He never imagined that sharing his feelings in front of their closest family and friends would be so difficult. But seeing her there in front of him, looking absolutely stunning in an ivory strapless gown in front of the setting sun, made it difficult to remain composed.

She smiled in a way that he had never seen before and silently took a mental picture. She was glowing. No, radiant, he thought to himself. He had seen her happy before, but this was a look of sheer joy. He returned her smile with his own signature grin before he heard the words that he'd waited for all day, "You may now kiss the bride."

Harm wasted no time in pulling her toward him, enveloping her in his arms and planting a firm kiss on her that would have embarrassed most brides. When the audience began to clear their throats, they broke apart, unable to stop smiling.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Harmon Rabb." Chaplain Turner clutched the Bible to his chest as he watched them walk hand in hand down the white cloth aisle runner, toward the awaiting crowd. Weddings sometimes had a way of seeming dull or mundane to the Chaplain, but not this one. The strong emotion that this couple felt for one other signified a bond that he knew would never be broken.

It was two hours later when the tired couple made their way into the hotel. Laughing together, they stopped just before they got to the elevator. "Harm, wait…"

He stopped himself from pushing the button to the second floor. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he smiled.

Ed turned around and smiled at the couple approaching. "Well, well, well. I see that the lovely couple made it back--again. What'll it be, soda with a twist and a draft?"

Harm smiled as he helped Mac onto the bar stool. "We just wanted to thank you, Ed."

"Thank me, what for?"  


"For giving us the advice that we both needed, when we needed it."

"Aw, you two didn't need my advice. You worked it out yourselves the first time you got hitched."

Mac smiled and looked at Harm. "Yeah, but a little advice from an unbiased source made a world of difference."

Harm rolled his eyes, knowing that she was referring to his stubbornness.

"And listen," Ed continued, "about my conversation with A.J….I never meant to blow you out of the water. I just assumed that—"

"Don't worry about it," Mac replied. "It was a learning experience."

"Besides," Harm reached for her hand. "it's the happy ending that counts, right?" He guided her off of the stool and toward the door, his growing impatience to be alone with his wife was beginning to show.

Ed winked at him and raised a mug of beer. "To happy endings."


End file.
